Divorce, Remarriage, and the Aging Family
Divorce seems to be becoming a more and more popular thing. So many people are getting divorces, and I hardly meet anyone anymore who hasn't had their family separated by divorce. It is sad to me to think about all of these people and makes me realize how blessed I am to have my parents still together in a loving relationship. Most of my extended family is also still together; I think I have only ever had two aunts/uncles who have divorced. I would hope that this trend would not continue to grow, but I feel like it most likely will. I have recently been studying more into cohabitation, and learned how that affects relationships, and I know how damaging divorces can be, and how prevalent they are.
When it comes to divorce, the requirements to get one have become so much more relaxed. A while back, most of the reasons that you could get a divorce fit into three sometimes four categories. These were called the A's of divorce. There was abuse, adultery, abandonment, and alcoholism. If there was abuse between the spouses, that was cause enough to get a divorce. Adultery is pretty self explanatory, but if one spouse was found to have cheated on the other, they could get a divorce if they so desired. Abandonment is when one spouse was not attending to the needs of the other and or the other family members that need attention. This would contain neglect to the members of the family also. Alcoholism is exactly what it is, but also any other drug misuse. I personally wish that these were still the only reasons for divorce. Now days, you can have one simple argument or just not like what the other person wears and get a divorce no questions asked! I believe that this simplicity of divorce is harming our ideals of the family. While I have been studying cohabitation, it was shown that those who cohabit are less opposed to divorce than those who don't cohabit. This is because they dont know what real commitments are. I feel like marriage is becoming less and less of a binding agreement, and because of that, people are more willing to get a divorce because it doesn't mean anything. I wish that this was not the case. I think it is very important for people to believe that marriage is a very serious matter and should not be taken lightly. I have seen so many families being torn apart through divorce and the kids are affected by it so greatly. Sometimes I feel like the parents don't take into consideration their kids as much as they should. My cousins are dealing with their parents getting a divorce right now, and I have noticed such a significant difference in all of their behaviors. They act like they are ok with it, but I have had conversations with a couple of them and they are struggling more than they let on. In class my teacher shared the statistic that now it is projected that 62% of kids at some point of their lives will live with someone other than their biological parents. This could be through step-parents, foster care, and other ways but I feel like this is so sad because there are so many blessings that kids get from growing up with two parents in the home. Just like we have learned throughout the semester, kids do better with both parents than with just one.
Learning all of this has made me really think of how I want to be when I am married and have children. I want to make sure that I am doing all that I can to help my marriage be strong so that divorce is never an option. I don't even want to be living in a way that divorce is even considered. I want the best for my future husband, and I want the best for my future kids and I believe that one way I can do that is make sure they don't have to go through the difficulties and repercussions of divorce.
When it comes to divorce, the requirements to get one have become so much more relaxed. A while back, most of the reasons that you could get a divorce fit into three sometimes four categories. These were called the A's of divorce. There was abuse, adultery, abandonment, and alcoholism. If there was abuse between the spouses, that was cause enough to get a divorce. Adultery is pretty self explanatory, but if one spouse was found to have cheated on the other, they could get a divorce if they so desired. Abandonment is when one spouse was not attending to the needs of the other and or the other family members that need attention. This would contain neglect to the members of the family also. Alcoholism is exactly what it is, but also any other drug misuse. I personally wish that these were still the only reasons for divorce. Now days, you can have one simple argument or just not like what the other person wears and get a divorce no questions asked! I believe that this simplicity of divorce is harming our ideals of the family. While I have been studying cohabitation, it was shown that those who cohabit are less opposed to divorce than those who don't cohabit. This is because they dont know what real commitments are. I feel like marriage is becoming less and less of a binding agreement, and because of that, people are more willing to get a divorce because it doesn't mean anything. I wish that this was not the case. I think it is very important for people to believe that marriage is a very serious matter and should not be taken lightly. I have seen so many families being torn apart through divorce and the kids are affected by it so greatly. Sometimes I feel like the parents don't take into consideration their kids as much as they should. My cousins are dealing with their parents getting a divorce right now, and I have noticed such a significant difference in all of their behaviors. They act like they are ok with it, but I have had conversations with a couple of them and they are struggling more than they let on. In class my teacher shared the statistic that now it is projected that 62% of kids at some point of their lives will live with someone other than their biological parents. This could be through step-parents, foster care, and other ways but I feel like this is so sad because there are so many blessings that kids get from growing up with two parents in the home. Just like we have learned throughout the semester, kids do better with both parents than with just one.
Learning all of this has made me really think of how I want to be when I am married and have children. I want to make sure that I am doing all that I can to help my marriage be strong so that divorce is never an option. I don't even want to be living in a way that divorce is even considered. I want the best for my future husband, and I want the best for my future kids and I believe that one way I can do that is make sure they don't have to go through the difficulties and repercussions of divorce.
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