Parenting
I think that there is a huge purpose to parenting. Parenting in my opinion is the process of helping a child to grow, but it is also a maturing and learning process for the actual parents. We all went through trials and got through them, and we need to learn how to teach that to our children so they may not go through the same thing possibly. Micael Popkin said that his idea of what parenting was to "Protect and prepare children to service and thrive in the world they will live in." I think this is a great way to look at parenting because it reminds us that we are preparing a child to thrive in the best possible way in the time that they will grow up. We need to understand that the things they will grow up surrounded by will be different than what we grew up with, and we have to be able to see that and incorporate it into how we raise our kids.
There are steps and things to do to discuss consequences with children. These go as follows: polite request, "I" statements, firmer, logical consequences, discussed in advance, include the child, choices (if/then, when/then), logically connected to natural consequences, cons you can live with, firm and friendly, follow through, and then give another chance. Polite requests make it so that respect is established in the home between the parents and the children and this is very important. "I" statements are suggesting things to the children that are not derogatory in any means, but show that there is a concern. So for instance the parent would say something like "when you _____, I feel _____ because _____." This way makes it so that they are aware of the thing they did wrong, but it isn't directly against them but they still know that the parents are not agreeing with what they had done. Logical consequences have to align with natural consequences. You have to think about the natural consequences are, and then correlate the consequences you make to be logical. They have to make sense together, so if they scratch the floor up, you don't take away their car. You do something like have them clean the floors for a certain amount of time, because those are more logically equivalent. A good way to do this is discuss consequences of actions before they are done. While you do this, include the child to make decisions on what the consequences will be. Make sure the consequences are something you can live with and are not over the top. As the parent you have to be firm but friendly when enforcing the consequence. You have to follow through with the consequence, even if it was only slightly broken, etc. Giving another chance is important. You can't make consequences that will inhibit them from making a mistake again, they still need to have agency in the choices they decide to make, and if they make it again they will know the consequence that will be given.
There are needs that everyone needs to have met. That is contact and belonging, power, protection, withdrawal, and challenges. As a parent we should try hard to make sure we create an environment that all of those needs can be met in.
Different parental approaches can offer help in the area of parenting. These are things such as offering contact freely, teaching to contribute, being and teaching assertiveness, being forgiving, skill building, and giving breaks then continuing tasks. It has been shown that if you work for 45 minutes, and have a break of 15 minutes, then continue that cycle, that is the best way to get a good amount done.
I believe that if we try to incorporate these new things as we become parents ourselves that we will be able to have success with our children. I honestly believe that going about parenting in this way can allow for better relationships between the parent and child and that is something that I have always wanted to have with my future children.
There are steps and things to do to discuss consequences with children. These go as follows: polite request, "I" statements, firmer, logical consequences, discussed in advance, include the child, choices (if/then, when/then), logically connected to natural consequences, cons you can live with, firm and friendly, follow through, and then give another chance. Polite requests make it so that respect is established in the home between the parents and the children and this is very important. "I" statements are suggesting things to the children that are not derogatory in any means, but show that there is a concern. So for instance the parent would say something like "when you _____, I feel _____ because _____." This way makes it so that they are aware of the thing they did wrong, but it isn't directly against them but they still know that the parents are not agreeing with what they had done. Logical consequences have to align with natural consequences. You have to think about the natural consequences are, and then correlate the consequences you make to be logical. They have to make sense together, so if they scratch the floor up, you don't take away their car. You do something like have them clean the floors for a certain amount of time, because those are more logically equivalent. A good way to do this is discuss consequences of actions before they are done. While you do this, include the child to make decisions on what the consequences will be. Make sure the consequences are something you can live with and are not over the top. As the parent you have to be firm but friendly when enforcing the consequence. You have to follow through with the consequence, even if it was only slightly broken, etc. Giving another chance is important. You can't make consequences that will inhibit them from making a mistake again, they still need to have agency in the choices they decide to make, and if they make it again they will know the consequence that will be given.
There are needs that everyone needs to have met. That is contact and belonging, power, protection, withdrawal, and challenges. As a parent we should try hard to make sure we create an environment that all of those needs can be met in.
Different parental approaches can offer help in the area of parenting. These are things such as offering contact freely, teaching to contribute, being and teaching assertiveness, being forgiving, skill building, and giving breaks then continuing tasks. It has been shown that if you work for 45 minutes, and have a break of 15 minutes, then continue that cycle, that is the best way to get a good amount done.
I believe that if we try to incorporate these new things as we become parents ourselves that we will be able to have success with our children. I honestly believe that going about parenting in this way can allow for better relationships between the parent and child and that is something that I have always wanted to have with my future children.
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