Theories in Families?

Remember as a child when you were playing with your siblings while Mom was on the phone? You were being a little rambunctious and noisy, but didn't think it was that big of a deal. Then, mom looks at you and snaps. You know, just from the snap, that if you don't shut your mouth right then and stop moving, you will be busted and get in so much trouble. This is an example of a "family rule". There are so many different things that you say, do, mimic, follow, etc. in your family that seem like "rules" because they are always done, even though they never were really intentionally laid down as rules. In my opinion, I believe that these help to unite a family. You specifically have things that you do with them that connect all of you, and not anyone else.

There are four different theories that family scientists tend to use when researching the family. You have:
        -Systems Theory
        -Exchange Theory
        -Symbolic Interaction Theory
        -Conflict Theory

Systems Theory-  This theory says that a system is greater than the sum of its parts. It goes with the idea that there are different roles and systems, and sub systems, and systems inside others, connected to even more. The example I shared very first on this post would fit under this theory because family rules are something that falls under this.

Exchange Theory- This is the idea that all of us are striving for the "costs lower than rewards" type relationships. Marriage and Family- The Quest for Intimacy states that " 'You owe me one' is a popular expression of exchange theory, which asserts that we all attempt to keep our cost lower than our rewards in interaction". This theory relies heavily on assessing pros and cons.

Symbolic Interaction Theory- This theory indicates that every action symbolizes or suggests something. It gives us an idea of where we stand in comparison to each other and how we perceive others and ourselves. Symbols can be verbal or non verbal, and our interactions with others actually mean something.

Conflict Theory-  conflict theory is all about power equaling influence. It is essentially the idea that everything and everyone is competing for limited resources. So for example in the family those resources would be attention, authority, time, money, or even electronics. An idea of a group of people that would fit well under this theory are feminists.


I was able to learn much this last week of class about how family therapists go about analyzing families. I found it interesting to learn about Salvador Minuchin and his contribution to the practice of family therapy.

Understanding that raising a family is going to be hard, but still knowing you should might be a hard concept for some to grasp. Of course, there are always going to be ups and downs. I personally know that there are ways that you can create a healthy family. I can do things like make sure that my kids are close with both me and my husband, their dad. I can facilitate those family rules and set an example of those things that they should be doing by doing them myself. I can be open with them and have a good relationship that isn't too open, but appropriate for their age and knowledge. I know that by me having a strong relationship with my husband can create a sense of safety for my children because they aren't worried about us fighting or such. I know that after I get married I will start a family, because it is what has been asked of us and what we should be responsible for.

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