Communication and Counsels
This week we were able to go into depth on communication and a little more on how it works, and how it is used within relationships. We also got to talk a little about counsels within relationships.
Communication is not just limited to the words we speak. We are never not communicating. There are different parts of communication including words, nonverbal signals and symbols, and tone of voice. I learned some interesting statistics about communication during one of our class periods- that is that only 14% of a message that we are getting comes from the actual words that are said. 35% of the message comes from the tone of voice that is used with the words, and then a whomping 51% comes from the nonverbal stuff. There is a process of receiving information in communication. The first part of it is when we ourselves have a thought or feeling that we wish to convey to someone else. Then we take that thought or feeling and encode it. This means that we put it into something, whether that be words, actions, or symbols, that we can transfer to the person with whom we wish to communicate with. Part of choosing how we transfer this is choosing the medium. The medium is how it is transferred, so it is like a text, a social media, a call on the phone, speaking in person, and so on. The next part of the process is actually from the other side. This is when whomever you are transferring information to, then has to decode it. This can be difficult because you never know whether they are going to decode your information in the same way that you meant it to be taken. This becomes especially hard when you start communicating over phones and social media because then at least 51% of your message is not being seen or heard. After this person decodes the message it then it made into a thought or feeling within their own head. This process goes back and forth for however long the conversation or relationship lasts. Hopefully when you are in a relationship you work together often on this so that you can learn together how to better and more accurately understand each other and what you are feeling.
Like I briefly mentioned, there can be problems within communication. This is called noise. Noise can be things such as distractions on social media, literal noise that makes it so you can't hear what someone is saying, misunderstandings, and emotions. Emotions are a big one because people tend to go into defense mode very quickly and if they sense something is wrong or hurtful or anything such as that, they will immediately try to defend themselves, even if they had just decoded the message wrong. Another problem with emotions is becoming angry. We learned that being angry does not help in really any situation. Ephesians 4:26 states, "can ye be angry and not sin?" This explains a lot because being angry is not a good thing. In fact, when you are angry, depressed, or have anxiety, it has been studied and shown that 1/3 of your brain actually shuts off. This is why when you are mad it is hard to think straight. This is also why if you are trying to have a heated argument with someone, a lot of times you won't be able to say sentences that flow nicely together or get out what you actually want to say because you honestly aren't thinking with your entire brain like you would be able to if you were calm. We need to make sure that we have no corrupt communications. This includes sarcasm and silence. Both of these types of communication, and yes, silence is a type of communication, are corrupt and can cause a lot of harm and misinterpretation.
Holding and having regular counsels in our relationships is very important. Having counsels is a way that we can improve our communication skills by regularly talking, in a meaningful and helpful way. When we come together and talk about weaknesses, and come to terms on how we can improve ourselves and also as a group or couple, you begin to form a bond that is hard to get any other way.
I know that communication is a very important aspect of our lives. It is something that we do everyday, and if we know how to effectively communicate, our lives will be so much easier and happier. I am hopeful that because I am learning about these things now, that when I get married I will be able to have effective and helpful communication within my marriage that will strengthen us and help us to grow stronger.
Communication is not just limited to the words we speak. We are never not communicating. There are different parts of communication including words, nonverbal signals and symbols, and tone of voice. I learned some interesting statistics about communication during one of our class periods- that is that only 14% of a message that we are getting comes from the actual words that are said. 35% of the message comes from the tone of voice that is used with the words, and then a whomping 51% comes from the nonverbal stuff. There is a process of receiving information in communication. The first part of it is when we ourselves have a thought or feeling that we wish to convey to someone else. Then we take that thought or feeling and encode it. This means that we put it into something, whether that be words, actions, or symbols, that we can transfer to the person with whom we wish to communicate with. Part of choosing how we transfer this is choosing the medium. The medium is how it is transferred, so it is like a text, a social media, a call on the phone, speaking in person, and so on. The next part of the process is actually from the other side. This is when whomever you are transferring information to, then has to decode it. This can be difficult because you never know whether they are going to decode your information in the same way that you meant it to be taken. This becomes especially hard when you start communicating over phones and social media because then at least 51% of your message is not being seen or heard. After this person decodes the message it then it made into a thought or feeling within their own head. This process goes back and forth for however long the conversation or relationship lasts. Hopefully when you are in a relationship you work together often on this so that you can learn together how to better and more accurately understand each other and what you are feeling.
Like I briefly mentioned, there can be problems within communication. This is called noise. Noise can be things such as distractions on social media, literal noise that makes it so you can't hear what someone is saying, misunderstandings, and emotions. Emotions are a big one because people tend to go into defense mode very quickly and if they sense something is wrong or hurtful or anything such as that, they will immediately try to defend themselves, even if they had just decoded the message wrong. Another problem with emotions is becoming angry. We learned that being angry does not help in really any situation. Ephesians 4:26 states, "can ye be angry and not sin?" This explains a lot because being angry is not a good thing. In fact, when you are angry, depressed, or have anxiety, it has been studied and shown that 1/3 of your brain actually shuts off. This is why when you are mad it is hard to think straight. This is also why if you are trying to have a heated argument with someone, a lot of times you won't be able to say sentences that flow nicely together or get out what you actually want to say because you honestly aren't thinking with your entire brain like you would be able to if you were calm. We need to make sure that we have no corrupt communications. This includes sarcasm and silence. Both of these types of communication, and yes, silence is a type of communication, are corrupt and can cause a lot of harm and misinterpretation.
Holding and having regular counsels in our relationships is very important. Having counsels is a way that we can improve our communication skills by regularly talking, in a meaningful and helpful way. When we come together and talk about weaknesses, and come to terms on how we can improve ourselves and also as a group or couple, you begin to form a bond that is hard to get any other way.
I know that communication is a very important aspect of our lives. It is something that we do everyday, and if we know how to effectively communicate, our lives will be so much easier and happier. I am hopeful that because I am learning about these things now, that when I get married I will be able to have effective and helpful communication within my marriage that will strengthen us and help us to grow stronger.
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