Preparing for Marriage
Marriage is something I am SOOO excited for!! At the same time it terrifies me. I hope it will be in the relatively near future, I want to be married before I am twenty-four years old. So that puts me getting married in the next five years. I would like to learn as much as I can and get the preparation in now so that my marriage will be more likely successful. I know, as I mentioned in one of my first posts, that I believe it is my responsibility to get married soon in life and not put it off. It is our responsibility to get married and start a family. I am looking forward to finding an eternal companion that will be my best friend and get to start my own family with him.
This week we were able to have conversations about marriage prep in more depth than we have before. We talked about the ways you date, how dating should happen, and the differences between men and women in dating. In potential mate selection, there are different factors that can attribute to who we choose to date. Two of the main ones that we talked about were propinquity and physical attractiveness. Propinquity is the state of being close to someone or something or another word that could be used for it is proximity. We tend to be attracted to and hang out with people that are close to us. It is hard to have a relationship with someone that is far away from you. There is just a boundary that happens when you can't be physically close to someone that is hard to overcome. Along with just being close, you can also have propinquity in other things such as cultural backgrounds, language, knowledge, and even looks. Contrary to what some may think, opposites do not attract. And if they do it doesn't make for a great relationship or even last. When we are closely related to someone else in other categories, such as speaking the same language, having mutual friends, growing up with the same culture, we are more likely to have success becoming close with them, and are more attracted to them in the first place. Physical attractiveness is one of the first things we tend to think about and consider when talking about being attracted to someone. There are many different attributes that are attractive to different people. One of the most common things that is said to be attractive is facial symmetry. The more symmetrical the features on your face are, the more attractive it is said to be.
To me, I feel like dating is dying. I understand there are different sources and articles that say differently, but in my own opinion and from my own experience, I would say it is. "Hanging out" has become the new social norm. (Keep in mind this is all in my own opinion) In my high school, there was a saying that went "hang out make out". This was meant and said because most of us believed that if you didn't have a plan and were just going to wing it, things wouldn't turn out good and you would end up just doing stupid things like making out or something. I fully believe in the requirements for a date to be considered a date that Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "A 'date' must pass the test of three p's: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off." I believe that if a guy asks me out on a date, he should actually either call me on the phone or ask me in person! He should have a plan for what we will be doing so he can give me an idea of what I need to prepare for, whether that be the clothes I wear, if I eat before, etc. He should have a specific time to pick me up and also drop me off. A set time to be home helps the date stay a date and not turn into a hang out. He should have the means to pay for whatever we are doing and plan ahead to know how much money he needs so he doesn't run out and have to rely on the girl to cover him. Pairing off is important because it shows that you are responsible for your date the entire night and supports the idea of a date rather than hang out because you will for the most part just be with that one person instead of just mingling around with everyone without a specific purpose. I found it really interesting when we compared the 3 p's of dating to the roles of the husband/father that are expressed in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. The three roles are to Provide, Protect, and Preside. This was such a cool connection to make because this was also 3 p's! And not only are they 3 p's, but they all correspond to another! So provide goes with paid for, protect goes with paired off, and preside goes with planned. It shows that practicing the proper dating ways of dating will prepare a husband for marriage because he will already be practicing his roles as a husband/father. This will also be a good thing for a girl to look in for a man because she can know if he will do all 3 p's of the dating, that it is a good indicator that he will follow his roles as her husband later in life.
I was glad to learn about these aspects of dating because it will make it so I can make better informed decisions with the guys I date so that eventually I will find a man to be my husband that will provide for me, protect me, and preside over our family.
This week we were able to have conversations about marriage prep in more depth than we have before. We talked about the ways you date, how dating should happen, and the differences between men and women in dating. In potential mate selection, there are different factors that can attribute to who we choose to date. Two of the main ones that we talked about were propinquity and physical attractiveness. Propinquity is the state of being close to someone or something or another word that could be used for it is proximity. We tend to be attracted to and hang out with people that are close to us. It is hard to have a relationship with someone that is far away from you. There is just a boundary that happens when you can't be physically close to someone that is hard to overcome. Along with just being close, you can also have propinquity in other things such as cultural backgrounds, language, knowledge, and even looks. Contrary to what some may think, opposites do not attract. And if they do it doesn't make for a great relationship or even last. When we are closely related to someone else in other categories, such as speaking the same language, having mutual friends, growing up with the same culture, we are more likely to have success becoming close with them, and are more attracted to them in the first place. Physical attractiveness is one of the first things we tend to think about and consider when talking about being attracted to someone. There are many different attributes that are attractive to different people. One of the most common things that is said to be attractive is facial symmetry. The more symmetrical the features on your face are, the more attractive it is said to be.
To me, I feel like dating is dying. I understand there are different sources and articles that say differently, but in my own opinion and from my own experience, I would say it is. "Hanging out" has become the new social norm. (Keep in mind this is all in my own opinion) In my high school, there was a saying that went "hang out make out". This was meant and said because most of us believed that if you didn't have a plan and were just going to wing it, things wouldn't turn out good and you would end up just doing stupid things like making out or something. I fully believe in the requirements for a date to be considered a date that Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "A 'date' must pass the test of three p's: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off." I believe that if a guy asks me out on a date, he should actually either call me on the phone or ask me in person! He should have a plan for what we will be doing so he can give me an idea of what I need to prepare for, whether that be the clothes I wear, if I eat before, etc. He should have a specific time to pick me up and also drop me off. A set time to be home helps the date stay a date and not turn into a hang out. He should have the means to pay for whatever we are doing and plan ahead to know how much money he needs so he doesn't run out and have to rely on the girl to cover him. Pairing off is important because it shows that you are responsible for your date the entire night and supports the idea of a date rather than hang out because you will for the most part just be with that one person instead of just mingling around with everyone without a specific purpose. I found it really interesting when we compared the 3 p's of dating to the roles of the husband/father that are expressed in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. The three roles are to Provide, Protect, and Preside. This was such a cool connection to make because this was also 3 p's! And not only are they 3 p's, but they all correspond to another! So provide goes with paid for, protect goes with paired off, and preside goes with planned. It shows that practicing the proper dating ways of dating will prepare a husband for marriage because he will already be practicing his roles as a husband/father. This will also be a good thing for a girl to look in for a man because she can know if he will do all 3 p's of the dating, that it is a good indicator that he will follow his roles as her husband later in life.
I was glad to learn about these aspects of dating because it will make it so I can make better informed decisions with the guys I date so that eventually I will find a man to be my husband that will provide for me, protect me, and preside over our family.
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